ALWAYS Be Careful What You Say

” DIEGO!  IF YOU DON’T STOP DOING THAT I’M GOING TO “(… hmm... what do I threaten him with  … come on say something… anything… fast he’s sensing weakness… “KILL YOU!!”   

OOPS! S_ _T, F_ _ _K, S_ _T! **  Back out of the room slowly, real casual… Don’t panic!  He’s only 3, he doesn’t even know what that means.  He’s only 3.  Calm down, he won’t even remember.  Walk back in to the room like nothing happened… Good see, he’s hitting his brother again, he wasn’t even paying attention.  

Fast forward to this weekend, and another kiddy birthday party.  We’re among family and friends.  Not good friends  like the ones you can compare credit scores with, but friends that can possibly become good friends if we continue pretending to like one another.

“Mommy open this ” ( a Blow Pop) 

“No”

“Mommy pweese!”

“No!”

“Mommy…”

 “Hmm?”

“I’m  gonna kiw you”

 

 

… 

 

Note to self☞ Make sure the boy’s not around when you’re talking credit scores with good friends.

** someday I’ll be old enough to spell these words out like The Bean  

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

On a some what related note I’d like to introduce you to the highlight of my weekend ☟

 

 

 

Did I just Google the Jonas Brothers?

 When I suggested Aaron could grow up to be a fireman at his birthday party☟, our young guests were quick to correct me.  ” NO! He’s going to be a Jonas brother!”   Now that I know how much money they make who they are, I have to say that I’m completely smitten with the idea.

 I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but I happen to be the proud mother of 3 boys , which would make the three of them brothers. I  assume that the young girls based their suggestion  on this fact alone, little do they know my boys are riddled with talent.  

Important Disclaimer☞This may be one of those clips that only I find cute, because I’m his mother.

 

Get in line little girls, get in line!

 

Arguably The Best 3rd Birthday Party Ever Thrown On A Thursday

 

It's the start of birthday season, and I've made the same mistake I make every year.  I went too big.  Which means the parties that follow will have to equal or surpass this event or people are going to talk.  Ahh the casualties of parenthood.

He likes fire trucks.  Obsessed.  They’re big, red, shiny, I get it.  I get it.

Sorry if your invite was lost in the mail.  Here’s a peek at what you missed. 

 

Subaru Subaru Subaru

I like things.   I obsess about one thing at a time.  I think about whatever “it” is endlessly, until “it” materializes in my life.  Then I forget it.  Done.  Forgotten.  It was never a part of my life.  

My latest, and priciest obsession to date is a Subaru.  

The station wagon?  The station wagon.  

How un-sexy is that?

It has everything to do with their latest ad campaign, I’m easily influenced that way.  I’ve already pictured myself loading my groceries in the spacious trunk, and fantasized about our drive to Tahoe.  

Eventually, I’ll blog about my new to me Subaru, and you’ll furrow your brow and think Is she bragging about a Subaru?  Yeah a Subaru.  I’m why sexy left.

 

Food Network Vs. Discovery Channel Round 1-ding

  vs.

Me-Why’d you change the channel?!?

Andres-  Your on the computer!

Me-but I was watching that…

Andres- When have you ever made anything you’ve seen on the Food Network?  WHEN?

Me-  Oh and your going to outer space?  With the money you win on Cash Cab you’re going to outer space!

TKO 

 

Ah Hell Nah!

 “When I grow up, I’m going to me a movie star, and an ambassador for the U.N, and a mommy, and OH OH   I’m going to have twins.  a boy and a girl.”    Any girl that has ever been 6 has likely spoken those very words. ” I’m having twins a boy and a girl.”  

Silly girl, that’s like the baby jackpot.  It’s not something you can arrange, or plan or pay for. Right Julia, J-Lo and Angelina?  Any one else suspicious of the Hollywood stork?

 

Why Your Blog Sucks And My Blog Doesn’t

I’ve read that in order to have a successful blog you should have a desire to network.  Understandable.  Makes sense, so I set about to do exactly that.  Here’s a small recap of my hour long blog tour.

➙Click, point, click-Does she really expect me to read 10 paragraphs about her tomato plants?  NOT!  BTW Organic produce is only impressive when you over pay for it.

➙Click, point, click-Let me get this straight. You’re making dinner, photographing every step from every angle, posting the play by play, while your 5 beloved kids are doing… what? 

➙Click, point, click-  What’s with all this witness protection program s___t?  An alias for your baby! Really? Okay.

The blogs I like, are a lot like the books I like.  Short, funny, with lots of pictures, like this one☞Best Blog Ever!  Think I’ll like yours?  Hola at your girl!

 

Super Mom Wanted Apply Within☟

 You can’t hear him, but he’s asking his brother to push the car!  If that doesn’t send chills down your spine, then you’re qualified for the job.  Ice water through your veins a plus.  

We’ve all heard the story of the iddy biddy mom lifting a car off her trapped child.  I’m not her.  Not iddy biddy, not cool under pressure.  Heaven forbid my sons get trapped under a car, because I’ll probably run in the opposite direction and call AAA.  Is it AAA or 911?  Please send resume ASAP!

 

TV Makes My Monday Bearable

I’m too smart to be a fan of this show. It’s more like background noise in my home.  Very clear uninterrupted background noise.  Even though I’ve missed the last two critical shows, I’m confident she’s picking Jesse.  She don’t want no baby mama drama!  No baby mama drama!  Jesse, take that to the bank.

 

Have I mentioned that my sister is close personal friends with Andrew Firestone?  Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone but Mr. I’m to fancy for the Olive Garden gets his haircut at Supercuts.  Shhhh!

 

Will you be staying the whole summer, Sir?

It’s been three day since we discovered him.  Three days since he sent my husband gliding across the living room floor on his tippy toes.  “Ah hem honey, according to your MANual you should be reaching for a broom or shovel, yeah, there’s no mention in here of a sissy dance ”

 

The fact is neither one of us want to kill it.  Correction -killing okay.  Disposing of the remains-not okay.  Why can’t I  just pack him a sandwich and escort him out the front door?  I’d like that.   My husband on the other hand, would probably prefer to see him teach me how to cook by standing on my head and pulling my hair. Cue the French accordion music, I think he’s sticking around ♫♪♬