Bee stings & Birthdays☟

Do they give out Oscars for slideshows?  Holla!

 

Blow☟

Do you watch this?  Intervention on A&E.  Riveting television.  Love me some crackies. Great.  Happy ending, unhappy ending equally gratifying.  What I don’t find gratifying is when they end the show with-

     John has been sober since July 15, 2008

WTF!  July 15.  That’s yesterday!  I’ve been sitting here watching this show longer than that.  John’s probably shooting up as we speak…what a jip.

  vs.

Me-Why’d you change the channel?!?

Andres-  Your on the computer!

Me-but I was watching that…

Andres- When have you ever made anything you’ve seen on the Food Network?  WHEN?

Me-  Oh and your going to outer space?  With the money you win on Cash Cab you’re going to outer space!

TKO 

Every time I get one of these colds where I can’t smell or taste anything I think, Now would be a great time for me to have a big bag of raw broccoli for breakfast.  It’s too bad I didn’t have one on hand.  Had plenty of these though

                                            

You’ve been here 100 times Sunny!  Thanks, that makes me happy.  Think I’ll celebrate with a Coke.

Thursday, June 5th- fourth day without a frothy, fizzy, yummy Coke.  I have a perpetual headache. I hear a constant ringy, buzzy noise.  I’m cranky and sluggish…(I was before).  

Deprivation has lead to recent discovery.  French water, fizzy water, flat water, minerally water BLOWS!  All of it. BLOWS!  Have sneaking suspicion that I’m about to fall of the wagon.    


I dread the start of the work week, and I don’t even have a job!  To help me cope, I like to make a list of things I have to look forward to in the week. 

 

  1. New episodes of Sponge Bob Square Pants!
  2. Julieta Venegas Unplugged on MTV tres
  3. NBA Finals. GO LAKERS! ( I need a Tivo)
  4. This weeks new to me recipe Coq au vin
  5. Friday

It’s not sexy I know, but it gets me by.

 

 For 6 years our marriage has been plagued by one standing argument over cereal.  Yes, cereal.  He insists that only one box be open at a time.  He patrols the kitchen nightly, running his hand along the top of all the boxes.  ” You opened another box? GISH!”  

I like my Jerry Seinfeld collection.  The high sugar kid cereal (I eat), the high fiber stuff (no one eats), the organic one for the kids.  All open, all the time.  

 If I were on MTV cribs it’s the first thing I’d show off.  I’d open the pantry doors wide, tap each box while saying ” Honey Bunches of Oats, Lucky Charms, Fiber One, THAT’S JUST HOW WE DO THANGS!” (turn towards the camera and point) “IF YOU DON’T HAVE 20 BOXES OF CEREAL THAN YOU AIN’T DOIN’ IT, YA HEARD!” ” NOW GET OUT!” ✌