Bee stings & Birthdays☟

Do they give out Oscars for slideshows?  Holla!

 

Blow☟

Do you watch this?  Intervention on A&E.  Riveting television.  Love me some crackies. Great.  Happy ending, unhappy ending equally gratifying.  What I don’t find gratifying is when they end the show with-

     John has been sober since July 15, 2008

WTF!  July 15.  That’s yesterday!  I’ve been sitting here watching this show longer than that.  John’s probably shooting up as we speak…what a jip.

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 For 6 years our marriage has been plagued by one standing argument over cereal.  Yes, cereal.  He insists that only one box be open at a time.  He patrols the kitchen nightly, running his hand along the top of all the boxes.  ” You opened another box? GISH!”  

I like my Jerry Seinfeld collection.  The high sugar kid cereal (I eat), the high fiber stuff (no one eats), the organic one for the kids.  All open, all the time.  

 If I were on MTV cribs it’s the first thing I’d show off.  I’d open the pantry doors wide, tap each box while saying ” Honey Bunches of Oats, Lucky Charms, Fiber One, THAT’S JUST HOW WE DO THANGS!” (turn towards the camera and point) “IF YOU DON’T HAVE 20 BOXES OF CEREAL THAN YOU AIN’T DOIN’ IT, YA HEARD!” ” NOW GET OUT!” ✌

I know how much you spend on a movie ticket; it’s why I keep my 3 kids out of the theater.  Your welcome. Luckily my husband happens to have an exclusive membership to Le DVD Planet.  Which means I can watch any movie he picks in the “comfort” of our home.  This week he selected the latest chick flick for my viewing enjoyment.  Bless his heart.  

 

Commence Operation Watch a Movie☞ 

Step 1- Convince the baby to take a nap 

Step 2- Loose the other two

Step 3-Pry whatever Pixar movie has been on continuous loop for the past three days out of the dvd player 

It’s an event to say the least; translation☞ This movie better be good.

 

It’s not.  Hillary Swank?  She’s the cross dressing lesbian, the million dollar baby, NOT Meg Ryan! Tough sell; but he’s thoroughly enjoying it, so I play along. When it’s all over he navigates back to the main menu to view the extra crap, that was cut from the crap crap.  That means he really liked it!  “Hey honey You know how I know your gay…”