” DIEGO!  IF YOU DON’T STOP DOING THAT I’M GOING TO “(… hmm... what do I threaten him with  … come on say something… anything… fast he’s sensing weakness… “KILL YOU!!”   

OOPS! S_ _T, F_ _ _K, S_ _T! **  Back out of the room slowly, real casual… Don’t panic!  He’s only 3, he doesn’t even know what that means.  He’s only 3.  Calm down, he won’t even remember.  Walk back in to the room like nothing happened… Good see, he’s hitting his brother again, he wasn’t even paying attention.  

Fast forward to this weekend, and another kiddy birthday party.  We’re among family and friends.  Not good friends  like the ones you can compare credit scores with, but friends that can possibly become good friends if we continue pretending to like one another.

“Mommy open this ” ( a Blow Pop) 

“No”

“Mommy pweese!”

“No!”

“Mommy…”

 “Hmm?”

“I’m  gonna kiw you”

 

 

… 

 

Note to self☞ Make sure the boy’s not around when you’re talking credit scores with good friends.

** someday I’ll be old enough to spell these words out like The Bean  


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On a some what related note I’d like to introduce you to the highlight of my weekend ☟

 

 

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 You can’t hear him, but he’s asking his brother to push the car!  If that doesn’t send chills down your spine, then you’re qualified for the job.  Ice water through your veins a plus.  

We’ve all heard the story of the iddy biddy mom lifting a car off her trapped child.  I’m not her.  Not iddy biddy, not cool under pressure.  Heaven forbid my sons get trapped under a car, because I’ll probably run in the opposite direction and call AAA.  Is it AAA or 911?  Please send resume ASAP!

(I do NOT plop them in front of the TV while I blog, only while I get drunk and play cards.) 

 

Baby Einstein DVDs on continuos loop, that’s a normal day around here.  I’m not proud of it, but I’m out numbered 3 to 1 so I feel it’s justified.   As much as these things cost you’d think my kids would understand the theory of relativity by now.  They don’t.

For a while I worried if they were absorbing any of it.  Then it happened, all out of the blue like.   A spontaneous combustion of knowledge.

“Look mom, red!”

“Look mom, circle!”

“Look mom, red circle!”

“Look mom, red circle, market, toys, ice cream, O’s, fun!”

 Either these movies work, or we’ve been to Target one too many times.